Another Valentine’s Day is upon us.   A day for lovers and sweethearts to affirm (or renew) their pacts of devotion and adoration to one another (sidenote – I submitted that last sentence as a Valentine’s Day card to the people at “Hallmark” this year and they turned me down.  Their loss.)

Anyway, I generally celebrate the holiday by giving out cards and chocolates to my girls (we’re not really “flowers” or “teddy bear” people).   Even though it’s a pretty low-key event around my house, the costs can still add up pretty quick.  As yet another sign of “I’m in the wrong business”, this generally means that I end up shelling out around $20 for a few holiday cards, plus an additional $20 – $30 in chocolates.  Nothing big, mind you – just a little nosh.  Don’t even get me started on this packaging.  The heart-shaped box is twelve inches wide and once opened, it reveals an astounding limited amount of candy inside – the rest is cardboard filler and plastic baggies.  Nothing says “I love you” better than five pieces of “Snickers” bar in a box big enough to ship a porcupine in from here to Nova Scotia.

I’d like to think that my wife and I have raised some strong and independent women.  As a validation of this fact, I came home recently to my youngest (a junior in high school) holding a small, heart-shaped box of chocolates.  The conversation went as follows:

ME:  “Ohh, I see you have some Valentine’s candy?  Who gave those to you?”

DAUGHTER:  “I bought them myself, thank you.”

ME: “No suitors, I presume?”

DAUGHTER:  “Dad – please.” (This is accompanied by an eye roll so big that I think I saw ‘Indiana Jones’ frantically running away from the front of it)

So there’s that.

In addition, I try to take my betrothed out to dinner somewhere as a “date night”.  Since the big day is on a Friday this year, I guess I better hop to it for reservations somewhere soon, or else we’ll be doing the “early bird” at ‘Denny’s’ (what do you mean I don’t care for you?  I just ordered you a “Moons Over ‘My-Ham-I’”).   That sounds like an uncomfortable night on the couch for yours truly.

So to all of you would-be “Don Juans” or “Cleopatras” out there, I am giving you ample notice to get your ducks in a row and plans made for a successful Valentine’s Day.

Good luck!