As a parent, one of the milestones your kids reach is the ability to drive.  Sure it has its pros and cons.  On the pro side, there is the flexibility it gives a family.  The kids can now take themselves to their various practices, events, or get together s at their friends’ homes without Mom or Dad being part of their transportation network.  On the con side there is the increased insurance costs and parental worry that they will come home OK (among other things).

 Now being that I have two daughters and a wife that can’t drive (due to her vision issues), I have three “Miss Daisies” that I get to hop in the car and play “Hoke” to, sitting up front and saying “yes , mam” as I cart them off to school events, shopping excursions, or jaunts to the Piggly-Wiggly.  I’m actually quite excited that someone else might take a turn at the wheel.

First, there’s my oldest.  She’s eighteen, and has no desire to drive whatsoever.  Oh sure, she’ll do it, but there is no burning need to take the wheel and leave home and pilot her own adventures.  It was all my wife and I could do to get her through driver’s education, and now, it’s like pulling teeth to get her to go and even try to take her driver’s test.  Her first attempt is actually scheduled for this Thursday, and she’s thoroughly convinced that she won’t be able to execute the parking portion of the driving exam (for those of you not in the know, Maryland no longer requires the dreaded parallel parking maneuver, but has substituted the “two point turn” instead – which consists of basically backing into a regulation-sized parking space bordered by parking cones, then pulling out – without touching the markers).

Then there is my youngest, she’s not yet sixteen, but had a countdown on her calendar to mark the very first day she would be eligible to get a learners’ permit (fifteen years and nine months here in MD).  She wants to drive everywhere – all the time.  Pouring down rain at night and we need a gallon of milk?  “Can I drive?”  She sits in the living room every evening and stares at me, hoping I’ll succumb to a driving outing so she can get her permit hours tallied and recorded.  Once she gets her license, we may never see her again.

I find these co-piloting duties during permit driving a study in faith, patience, and control.  I work very hard to remain calm as I sit in the passenger seat, offering even-tempered suggestions and driving tips.  I do not yell or get excited.  I say short and easy to understand sentences, such as “watch your lane”, “check your speed”, or even “that was a stop sign you just ran.”  Sure I may look composed and unconcerned, but there are moments when I’m clenching my toes so hard that my flip-flops fold over under my feet. 

It’s not always successful.  More than once, I’ve heard things like “are you pushing your foot on the floor over there because you wanted me to brake?”  Probably.  Sorry, kiddo – it’s a habit with me.  A stopped poultry truck and your 40 MPH approach from the rear tends to do that.  Do your old man a favor and ease off of that throttle a tad.

Hopefully, all will go smoothly and the state if Maryland will see fit to grant my girls the privilege to drive on their own in the coming months. 

Then I’ll need to take out a second mortgage to pay for the car insurance.