I am often reminded that in my day-to-day activities, as author Erma Bombeck used to say “if life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?”  Our daily lives are a series of highs and lows, of calm and confusion, and how we handle the more chaotic situations – especially when various factors of stress are placed on us, is different for each of us as individuals.

I’ll use myself as an example.  I’ve had a pretty rough week at work.  We had a major outage to our financial system, and I’ve definitely felt the stress and emotion from users, management, and my own staff as we have worked through the problem towards resolution.  I’d like to think that I handle these types of situations pretty well, as years of working for IBM dealing exclusively with critical outages has conditioned me on how people react to their circumstance and express their emotions and feelings.  Believe me, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a CEO from a Fortune 500 company screaming at you at 2:00 AM because his reservation system is down and he’s losing “millions of dollars every minute.”  Good times.

So, in regards to this past week’s events, I’m happy to say that I’ve seen worse, so I was diligently working on putting forth an air of calm and assurance that seemed to rub off on those around me.  I’ve learned the hard way that if the rank and file sees management running around like a crazy person, then they take that as a sign as to how they are supposed to be behaving as well – and quickly emulate it.  My boss was also exhibiting these same qualities of serenity, and I can honestly say that no one really teed off on me or my staff throughout the entire ordeal.

In addition to work issues, there are personal issues my family is also dealing with, from health issues to preparing my girls to go back to college this fall (the youngest opting to attend a university a mere twelve-hour drive away).  These factors – as well as the daily responsibilities of bills, transportation, food, etc. – that any family would face on a day-to-day basis – can also cause frazzled nerves and short fuses, but again, I’d like to think that overall, I do as well as anyone.

Anyway, I’m certainly no licensed professional, but here are the things I try to incorporate when confronted with stress and uncertainty.

Focus on the Solution to the Problem

Yes, I know it’s a guy thing to always try to “fix things”, but in general, once you’ve gotten past the emotional reaction to a situation, it’s time to buckle down and decide what you’re going to do to fix it.  Figure out your options, weigh the pros and cons of each one, and then make a firm decision on how you’ll proceed.  Could your solution be wrong?  Of course, but don’t be wishy-washy.  Pick a course of action and give it a shot.

Prioritize

What’s the most important thing to focus on?  What can hold off until later?  Half of the stress you may encounter is just trying to figure out what problem or issue to tackle first.  Understand what is critical in your situation and what is not.  As they say in that best-selling book – “don’t sweat the small stuff”.

A Little Planning Goes a Long Way

Sure, it’s great to be spontaneous, but I wouldn’t hop on a plane in an hour for a sudden vacation to Italy without a little planning first.  I know, some people are motivated by deadlines (and can’t function without a looming one) and some love to be going through the day with their hair on fire in full-on emergency mode.  Don’t be that person (and quite frankly, cut those people out of your life – that will reduce your stress level right there).  Be proactive, not reactive.

Stop.  Take a Breath.  Continue.

Sometimes that’s all one can do.  If you need to leave your office for a moment to clear your head?  Do it.  Pull a ‘Frank Costanza’ from “Seinfeld” and scream “serenity now!” in an empty room.  Need a walk around the yard to think about a family situation?  By all means.  A little alone time can often provide the clarity needed to understand what’s going on and how to deal with it.

Talk to Someone

Is the situation overwhelming you?  Talk to someone.  Anyone.  A family member, a trusted friend, the family pet, your pastor or clergy – even a professional counselor.  Sometimes, all you really need is to vent.  Find someone who will listen and pour it all out.  That’s therapeutic in and of itself.

Maybe some of these ideas will help you as well.  I hope so.

Have a good week!