I have to admit, the older I get – the more crotchety I have become.  I’m not to the point where I sit on my porch and yell “you kids get off of my lawn” while shaking a cane at them, but it’s not too far off.  I find that in my daily interactions, I am constantly disappointed in humanity as a whole – so much so that I find my mind wanders to an existence where I fantasize about living without human interaction in a simple cabin on 100 acres of land somewhere in the middle of nowhere and the minute I see smoke coming from another chimney, it’s time to move on.

Remember when you were young and loved to go to a bar or club that was packed full of other human beings?  That was a loooooong time ago.  The best bars now are the quiet ones.  Out of the way taverns or a nice, deserted Moose Lodge.  If I’m drinking a beer at the local American Legion and another person comes in, I find myself thinking “whelp, time to get out of here – it’s getting awfully crowded” –  – and don’t even dream about dropping a dollar in that damn, noisy jukebox, you heathen.

Anyway, enough about my personal issues.

Here’s a sample of people I feel this world could do without (and in no particular order):

People who don’t clean up after their dogs while taking them out for a walk.

I have a seething hatred for these folks.  Look, it’s your pet, and quite frankly, it’s your responsibility.  My neighbor lets her dogs (those wrinkly, Chinese ones) run wild once she opens the door daily to let them out, and they love to come next door and foul my flower beds.  I pick up over a half a bag of dog poo about every month or so (which I gleefully fling back over the fence like a B-52 unloading a belly full of ordinance over Hanoi).  Folks walk their dogs up and down the streets of my town and let their pets drop the deuce on everything without even thinking to pick it up.  The lone exception?  My mother – who religiously picks up after her own doggo.  Bless you, Mom.  The rest of you need throat punched.

People who stare into their phone while you’re trying to have a conversation with them.

I absolutely hate cell phones.  Oh, I know they are convenient and serve a purpose, but they have seduced and addicted the entire population into thinking that they just can’t survive if they don’t get an instant reaction to their latest text, tweet, or Tik-Tok posting.  No matter where you look, every other human being is walking, dining, sitting, or even driving with their head down as if in some deep prayer or contemplation.  Believe me, it’s not.  It’s probably a round of “Candy Crush” or the latest video of some jackass falling off of a roof on “Reddit”.  You know, life changing stuff.  Couples sitting across from each other in a restaurant are both totally engrossed in God-knows-what on their devices instead of talking to each other.  Maybe it’s my age, but if I’m having a conversation with you and your eyes drift downward to your device – you’re getting called out – loudly and publicly.  Just know that it’s coming.

People who take up two parking spaces with their truck or car.

You know who I mean.  They just got their brand new Mercedes or Dodge Ram and feel it necessary to intentionally cover two spaces in their parking job so that no one will ding their most prized possession.  You know what?  Park out away from the store and walk it in, bub.  No one gives a flying fart about your limited edition, “Bass Pro Shops” paint job and those antler, window decals on that jacked-up monstrosity you obviously overpaid for (oooohhhhh, he must be outdoorsy!).  What I do care about is that I now have to walk further in the rain because of your self-serving, perceived entitlement.  Honestly, deep down – I WANT to see someone hit, scratch, or ding your precious baby.  Hard.

I’ve got plenty of other ones as well.

• Drivers who use the road shoulder during a traffic jam.
• People who talk in a movie theater during the show.
• Shoppers who just drop their unwanted items at the grocery store without taking them back to where they got them (ever seen a cut of meat left in the cereal aisle?  I have).
• People who don’t throw their trash away in a recepticle at public places (this includes used diapers), but just leave/drop it wherever they happen to be.
• Parents who let their young kids run wild at a store or restaurant (usually because their face is in their phone – see above).
• People who drive 10-15 miles UNDER the speed limit on a two lane road.
• People I have to wait for because they are habitually/constantly late.

Whew!  I feel better already.

What about you?

In your daily travels, who could you do without?  Drop me a note in the comment section below.