I’ll admit it – I’m a planner by nature.  I’m always looking ahead, trying to figure out schedules, menus, chores, money decisions, vacations – literally every aspect of my life.  Sure, I can be spontaneous, but I’ll be the first one to tell you that it doesn’t happen very often.  If my wife came home one day and said “let’s drive to Florida for the weekend!”, my mind would probably lock up from all of the decision points it was suddenly faced with.

Studies have shown that most “healthy and happy” people generally take on a more laid-back, relaxed attitude towards life.  I tend to call these people “retired”. They have learned to stop trying to control their lives 24×7 and sometimes?  Well sometimes, you just sit back and enjoy it.  This is often referred to as “living in the moment”, and taking the time to clear one’s mind of the clutter and just be present in the current situation – whatever that may be, can be the mental tonic that most of our stressed lives are looking for.

For example, now that my kids are off at college, there’s a lot of “down time” at my house.  No errands to run, no kids to cart around, no elaborate meals to cook – you get the idea.  My wife and I are trying something new for dinners on the weekends, where simply set up a few bowls of charcuterie (crackers, cheese, vegetables, dips, and other goodies) – open a bottle of wine, turn on some music, and just relax in each other’s company.  We have dubbed this meal “the Nine” – as it contains two proteins, two cheeses, one fruit, two vegetables, something sweet, and something sour (nine things in total).  We mix and match whatever is in season, and if the weather is right, we sit on our back terrace and watch as the mountains behind our house slowly begin turning from green to shades of yellow, red, and orange.  Closing one’s eyes and feeling a cool breeze on the face in the early evening can certainly wipe out a day of work stress.

Living in the moment is not just about eating, either.  It’s also about being present for conversations with friends (again, without the distraction of an electronic device), taking a walk, reading a book, or even taking a luxurious afternoon nap.  It’s about saying “yes” when your friends want to go out for drinks, taking the time to go and see a relative, or stopping at that local charity car wash that benefits the high school’s track team.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.  Think you’re not addicted to that phone in your pocket?  Try setting it aside for a few hours and see if you don’t start to sweat a little.  Honestly, give it a try some evening.  Get out that chessboard and teach your kids (or your spouse) how to play.  Like to watch TV?  Go to a local play instead and see some real, live theater.  Check out a free concert at a park on the weekend, or visit a craft show, even if you don’t buy anything.  Just walk around and soak it in while munching on a bag of caramel popcorn.

Replacing “things” with “experiences” and “relationships” may be one of the best things you ever do.