I know I’ve ranted on this topic before, but every year, I shake my head at the annual pilgrimage of consumerism that is affectionately known as “Black Friday”.

I just don’t get it.

The Thanksgiving weekend is supposed to be about getting together with friends and family to celebrate, acknowledge, and appreciate all that has happened over the past year.  The afternoon following that expansive feast should be spent playing cards, conversing and laughing over another glass of wine, watching a football game, or taking a turkey-induced nap. 

Yet as soon as most people are pushing away from the table after stuffing themselves into a larger pants size, they trot upstairs, put on their best pajama bottoms, and then trek out to the department stores overnight in search of some supposedly elusive deal on a gift that they could just as easily buy on the following ‘Cyber Monday’ at the exact same price (or better).

You’ve seen the videos of people in fist-fights over the last ‘X-Box’ or trampling some senior to get a Yankee candle, but I fail to see the point in stressing out over some material thing that could just have easily been purchased at a different time of the month.  Don’t forget, someone has to man these stores at o-dark thirty and put up with all of this foolishness.  By the way, if you’ve never worked retail before, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut when cashiers and stockers start telling their startling war stories of how that Karen ripped them a new one because the store ran out of ‘Christmastime Barbie’ or they watched in fascination as a redneck couple pulled an expensive drill out of its original box and stuffed it in a cheaper brand’s packaging.  The entitlement today’s consumer feels they are owed in retail is both maddening and ridiculous.

With today’s technology (and a little bit of planning), it’s quite easy to leisurely shop for everything (and I do mean everything) you may need to fill up that holiday list or stocking from the comfort of your couch – AND have it delivered right to your own front door (for free).  As I write this column, I currently have over a dozen packages currently inbound, and my holiday shopping is almost complete, which will allow me to enjoy the festivities of the holiday season without worrying about finding a parking spot at the mall so far away from the building that it will put me over my daily step count just to reach the front door.

“I don’t know why they even do ‘Black Friday’ anymore.  Stores should just be closed on Thanksgiving and the day after.”

Ahh, Aunt Marge, you’re so cute.

I’ll tell you why they do it – because the cattle keep coming, that’s why.  If you think a brick-and-mortar retailer is going to close up for a day when they think they can make a buck, then you need to take a basic economics course – or watch ‘Wall Street’ on DVD again to hear ‘Gordon Gecko’ spout the American business mantra of “greed is good.”

If you really want to see the ‘Black Friday’ frenzy die off, then the answer is quite simple.

Stop participating in it.

Sleep in on Friday, eat a leftover turkey sandwich for breakfast, and then you can put up your Christmas tree and start hanging lights for the holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!