If you’ve ever worked a job for any period of time, every now and then you run into a person of the opposite sex who becomes a friend. mentor, confidante, and colleague – all at the same time.

In “the biz”, these folks have a name.

The work wife.

Now, ladies, before you start making signs and marching outside of my house, understand that this goes both ways.  There are work husbands, too, but for the sake of argument (and from my own experience), I’m going to concentrate on the female side of this equation.

Now, I should point out (as a happily married man), that there are some ground rules to having a work wife. 

• The relationship is strictly platonic
• The relationship is between co-workers on the same level (not a supervisor-employee scenario)
• The relationship does not extend outside of work
• Personal info about one another’s spouse (or significant other) is generally off-limits, but you can talk about your family (in generic terms).

Now that we have the ground rules out of the way, we can freely talk about this.  Every now and then on the job, a bond is formed between co-workers of the opposite sex that is strong.  It just kind of happens. That person becomes an instant friend.  They know the ropes.  They are respected for what they bring to the table, are recognized by others for their skills, and they do not suffer fools lightly.  They give honest feedback.  They are strong personalities.  For some reason, they take you under their wing.  They smooth out the rough spots. and in return, your day becomes a lit bit easier.

What do they get for all of this mentoring and friendship?  Well, you’ll do almost anything for them at your place of employment.  You’ve got their back.  When they show you something, you listen and do likewise.  Their greatness rubs off and makes you good at your job, too.  Pretty soon the two of you are thick as thieves, chatting in the aisles about your weekend or having lunch together in the break room.  The job just isn’t the same when they aren’t there.  You count down the days for their return when they go off on vacation.  You work hard not to disappoint them or leave them hanging with job duties or responsibilities.  You end up loving this person, but in a work sort of way.  For example, you’re not exchanging Christmas gifts, but you would certainly bring them some tomatoes from your garden, if you know they like them. That kind of love.

If you run into a work wife at a company event (say a family picnic or office party), you’ll introduce them to your spouse or partner, but then you will go your separate ways.  Everyone wants to be polite, but not make anything awkward. Remember, work wives are for “on the clock” time only. You don’t want a work wife messing up your relationship at home (and visa versa). Don’t worry. A “true” work wife gets it. She won’t muck up the works.

If you end up leaving your job, it’s almost like you’ve been widowed.  Oh, you say you’ll keep in touch, but it rarely happens.  Believe me, it takes a while to get over a work wife. These people occupy a brief period in your life, but they make an impression you’ll carry with you forever.

I’ve had three memorable work wives in my employment history, and I can tell you, they were all strong, independent women who were absolute gangsters in their roles and didn’t take sh*t from anyone, yet somehow, they took a shine to me, and before you knew it, there we were – joined at the hip once we punched the clock.  I cherish everything these ladies taught me, and they made life bearable at some of these jobs.

So, if you’ve got a work wife (or work husband), take a minute to realize and appreciate what you’ve found, because someday (almost always sooner than you think), they will be gone.

To all my ex-work wives – God bless ya.  My gratitude for your patience and friendship knows no bounds.