My wife recently bumped into a loyal “That Food and Travel Guy” reader, and after complimenting the articles, the person then added “I know he doesn’t like to eat at local places,” coming to that conclusion based on the fact that I’m generally making fun of local establishments (both chain franchises and family owned restaurants) in my posts.

Let me take a moment to clarify.  I’m a big fan of local cuisine, no matter what the price point.

Make no mistake – I love a good Hartle’s sub.  I’ll stand in line for Krumpe’s doughnuts.  Nothing beats a big ‘ol cranberry limeade from the “Sonic” Drive-In.  The fried chicken at the AC&T gas station on the Sharpsburg Pike is some of the best around (and I’ll drive out of my way to get it).

“So, Mr. Food and Travel Guy,” you may ask, “- what do you look for when you’re out dining?  What are your criteria when evaluating a restaurant?  Why do you write down the specific things you do?”

Good questions, one and all.  Listed below are the basic things I’m thinking about when choosing and/or talking about a dining establishment.

 

No National Chains

Sorry – “Olive Garden”, “Tilted Kilt”, and “Red Robin” are out.  I just ate at the new “Chili’s” in Hagerstown, but you won’t see a write-up about it here.  There are plenty of places that do reviews on the big boys.  I’m more interested in single location, one-of-a-kind restaurants (but I don’t mind if they have more than one local location).  Don’t think; however, that I won’t make fun of the big chains in some form or fashion – if warranted (uhhhh, hello, “Wendy’s”?  What has happened to you?  I see more people milling around a mattress store or vitamin shop than in your lobbies these days).

 

Decide on a Service Style – and Stick with It

You want to be a local bar that serves a burger or two?  OK.  You want to be a high-end dining experience with cloth napkins and multiple forks?  Great (and good luck with that, locally).  Are you advertising yourself as a diner?  Fine, but be a diner.  A restaurant cannot be all things to all people.  Pick a service style and work on perfecting it.  Don’t advertise (and price) yourself as “high end” and then serve me individually wrapped butter packets, salad dressing in a plastic pack, or toss a creamer on my table.  On the flip side, I’m not about to pay $13.99 for a hot roast beef sandwich with French fries – I don’t care who’s name is on the sign out front.  If I’m having a beer at a bar, impress me by serving a good (and simple) sandwich – don’t offer some elaborate three course meal that has been waiting under a heat lamp in the back.  Know who and what you are – then stick with it.

 

Easy On the Menu

I don’t need fifteen entrée choices, and quite frankly, neither does any decent restaurant.  I’m not looking for ten salad choices or four soups.  Less is more.  My favorite menus are on one page.  I’d rather go to a place that does one or two things extremely well as opposed to one that does a lot of things mediocre.  In addition, pick a cuisine and stick with it.  I am wary of Chinese/Japanese fusion or Italian/Mexican eateries (or any other weird combination).  Odds are they do one or the other (and sometimes both) poorly.

 

Keep it Clean!

Look, I love dive bars and “hole in the wall” eating establishments, but follow some basic rules of cleanliness.  Don’t give me a dirty plate, glass, or silverware.  Have someone sweep the floor.  Wipe off the tables between patrons.  If the front of the house isn’t clean, I’m afraid to think about what’s going on back in the kitchen.

 

Service – Friendly and Attentive (But Don’t Overplay It)

Everyone wants a friendly server.  I also look for other, little things.  Does the waiter/waitress approach the table in a good mood?  Is my drink refilled (or offered to be refilled) without asking?  Are my empty dishes being cleared?  Am I being looked after, but not smothered?  I’ve known plenty of people in the food service industry (and know what a tough job service can be), so a server has to be pretty blatant or memorably bad for me not to cut them a little slack.  Don’t forget, though – bad service can ruin a good meal.

 

It’s when one of these rules gets broken (and trust me, some places try to break all of them) that I’ll go out of my way to make fun of a specific location, service practice, or food offering.

So – not to worry, gentle reader.  I DO like fast food, local delicacies (like hog maw – look it up if you’re confused), and the food served at church socials – even if you don’t see me mention it as often in these posts.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, all of this writing has put me in the mood for a “Chick-fil-A” chicken sandwich.