Wow, what a week.  The story of my oldest daughter obtaining her driver’s license is becoming the stuff of family legend.  One day, she’ll be able to tell her own kids about it, have a laugh, and hopefully – their own challenges with the process won’t seem so insurmountable.

First, let’s back up a bit.

My oldest daughter hasn’t been too concerned about obtaining her driver’s license.  It doesn’t consume her as it does my youngest, who just recently got her permit and is obsessed with the thought of being able to leave the house on her own (think Steve McQueen’s character ‘Virgil Hilts’ in “The Great Escape” – she just has to “get out”).  On the contrary, we’ve had to push and prod my eldest into at least trying to obtain her driving privileges from the state of Maryland before she goes off to college this fall.

So, she finally went online and set up her driving test appointment – or at least, so we thought.  We arrived at our scheduled time, stood in line, and were greeted by one of those gracious and patient customer service agents you read about who work at the DMV (if you can’t read the sarcasm in the last statement, then you obviously haven’t been to the DMV in quite some time), and were greeted like this:

DMV Agent (annoyed): “Can I help you?”

Me:  “Yes, we’re here to take the driver’s test.”

DMV Agent (still annoyed): “No, you’re not.”

Me (Now also annoyed):  “Uhhh, yes – we are.”

DMV Agent: “We don’t do driver’s tests this late in the day.”

I looked over at my daughter, who assured me she had set up an appointment.

Me:  “We set up an appointment.”

DMV Agent: “Not for a driver’s test, you didn’t.”

Look, I understand that a DMV customer service agent endures a lot of stories throughout the course of a day, but is it any wonder they have abuse heaped upon them by the truckload when they act like this?

So, as it turns out, my daughter had signed up for a spot to take the exam for a permit, not the license test, so we got that squared away and set up an actual appointment for the driver’s test for the following week.

We again arrived at our appointed time – I traveled over from my job and my daughter was brought in to the DMV by my mother.  My mother is the model Grandma, so she offered to stick around until the test was over (to show support and encouragement for my daughter, who was now a nervous wreck as the time for the test drew closer and closer).

We signed in and I pulled around the back of the DMV building to the line of cars waiting to take the road course test, my daughter seated in the passenger’s seat.  We watched as one of three test supervisors would approach the car in line, the parent or other licensed driver would get out (being replaced by the driver candidate), and the testing supervisor would then instruct the student driver to perform various tasks (turn on the various car signals, flashers, blow the horn, etc.).  The testing supervisor would then get in the car on the passenger’s side and off they would go, first to the course set up behind the DMV (to perform the two-point turn) and then out onto the road for the remainder of the test procedure.

As each car took their turn on the course and we moved up in line, my daughter was more and more anxious, visibly shaking as we were now #2 in line for the test.  The car in front of me left to enter the course, and I reached down to put the car into “drive” (and move it out of “park” on the shifting console) and move up to the #1 slot.

The shifter wouldn’t move. Uh-oh.

I pushed buttons.  I re-engaged and disengaged the parking brake.

Nothing.

We’re stuck.

I look over at my oldest, who is now freaking out, tears beginning to well up in her eyes as my attempts to reassure her are failing miserably.  I learned long ago that in any stressful situation, people turn to whoever is in charge and act as they do – if the leader is calm, they remain calm.  If the leader is agitated or concerned, so goes the group.  I was working very hard to project a calming influence, but it wasn’t working.

I yanked and pulled again on the console shifter.

Nothing.

At this point, the “ABS” light has also illuminated on my dashboard, the person in the #3 slot is now honking their horn for me to move up, and the test supervisor has emerged and is motioning for me to pull forward.

Unfortunately, this car is going nowhere.

I get out and explain (in two directions) my predicament, and now a crowd of surprisingly understanding and patient folks are all trying to help with the situation.

Still, the car is stuck in the #2 slot.

Unbelievable.

I ask if my daughter can still take test in my mother’s car.  The test supervisor agrees (given the situation that has unfolded before her), but states that we’ll have to go to the back of the line.  No problem.  My daughter has gotten out and is off to get Grandma (thank the Lord for Grandmas), and I am on the phone with AAA to arrange a tow truck.

Now, I must point out that the car my daughter has been practicing in is a 2012 Nissan Sentra (currently dead in the testing lane).  My mother’s car is a 2011 Buick Lucerne, which in layman’s terms – size-wise, is like comparing a dingy to a tugboat.

My daughter’s turn arrives, and the instructor runs through the intro part of the test, and they are soon off and onto the course.  I’m trying not to watch as she attempts the two-point turn, but glance over once I see the car has stopped – just in time to see my daughter getting out of the driver’s side of the car and switching places with the instructor.

That can’t be good.

I finish up on the phone with AAA, who has dispatched a tow truck, and walk around the building to see my mother embracing an emotionally drained and crying daughter.

She struck a cone while backing Grandma’s barge into the two-point turn parking space.  Instant fail.

We schedule a follow-up appointment to attempt the driver’s test again on another day, continue to console my oldest, and settle in for the wait. 

It takes another two hours for the tow truck to arrive. 

A young and enthusiastic driver appears, I explain what’s going on, adding “I’ve tried one hundred different things, and I can’t get it in gear”.

The tow truck driver smiles and says “there’s always one hundred and one.”  He hops in the car and in less than two minutes, figures out how to bypass the console issue and get the car into gear, which will allow me to get it to a mechanic to fix.  No tow truck required after all.

Bless this young man and his knowledge.

So, the car is scheduled for maintenance and we’ll come back for another shot at the driving test (in the correct vehicle) next week.

Stay tuned……