First off, my apologies for not keeping to my regular schedule of two posts a week over the past fortnight.  Truth be told, I have re-entered the workforce and have been trying to adjust to the new schedule.

For those of you who may not have known, I spent over 23 years in the IT field.  Last June, my former employer (whose three letter company is also known as “Big Blue”) decided that my services were no longer required and let me go.  I should rephrase that.  My services were still required – just not by me.  I had the good fortune of training my much younger (and cheaper) replacement from Brazil, and then I was shown the door.

After nine months of searching for a new job, running through most of my cash reserves, and filing for unemployment, I decided that maybe it was time to do something other than IT for employment.  To that end, I have recently taken a seasonal job at a local big box home improvement store (again, to protect the innocent, I’ll just say it’s the blue one, not the orange one).  I’ll be spending the summer as an “inside seasonal” Customer Service Associate.  You’ll find me helping customers with anything from mowers to birdseed.  I’ll be selling grills and insecticide, wheelbarrows and chain saw blades.  It’s not where I pictured my professional life at 50, but I’m rolling with it.

That being said, after my first week of training, I have had my eyes opened to the wide, wide world of home improvement retail.  It’s a tough job, but I have to say that everyone I have encountered in my training regimen thus far has been helpful, friendly, and supportive (with the lone exception of one surly gentleman in Receiving who let me know in short order that I was putting an empty pallet away in the wrong space.  Rest assured that won’t happen again).

Here are some other things I’ve learned over the past week.

 

I’m not as young as I used to be

They say you’re as young as you feel.  Well, I have to say that after a week of hoisting air conditioners, running up and down ladders to replenish stock, and standing and walking on an unforgiving concrete floor for eight hours at a stretch, my body has really let me know that I’m not a 20 year-old anymore.  My knees and joints ache, I have to get used to using my upper body again (as a desk job really wasn’t straining the old pecs on a regular basis), and I rattle with Advil in the evenings after I come home.

 

There’s a lot to learn

My teammates sure have internalized a lot of information in their tenure on the job.  They can tell you what aisle the springs are in (Hardware – Aisle 14), know the voltage of the batteries for the electric trimmer combo kit, find you a vent cover for your radiant heating, and recommend what grass seed to use on that semi-sunny patch of ground next to your deck – all from memory.  I can barely find the store bathroom.  They can also set you up for a product delivery, pre-approve you for a credit card, and hand you off to an install associate to work on that home HVAC system you need.  Ask me a question and I look like a white-tailed deer that’s wandered out onto the highway in front of a bread truck.

 

Customers assume gray hair equals know-how

As I stand at the desk on the sales floor next to my college-aged associate (who has years of experience and a lot of department knowledge), I am amazed that when people approach the counter, they immediately address me (the gray-bearded older guy with no company vest and a training badge) instead of engaging my teammate.  Wow, are you folks in for a shock for the near future.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  The old guy doesn’t know “squadoosh” yet, so don’t assume that age is any indication of product knowledge.  Don’t get me wrong, if you’ve got the time, I’ll ask around, look it up, or fake my way though it for you, but it will be a while before I recommend that mulching kit for the John Deere mower you’ve been eye-balling for the last ten minutes.

 

I’ve been assured by everyone I work with that all of this fog will pass with time and I’ll be in there selling grills, chain saws, and mowers like a champ with the best of them.  That’s good to know – and I appreciate the faith.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with an ice pack and a recliner.  This old dog needs to lay down on the porch for a while.