Yes, because we don’t have enough days to recognize various aspects of life, this coming Thursday, June 10^th is “officially” recognized as “Iced Tea Day”.  I doubt if there will be any parades.  There won’t be a special doughnut at your favorite shop or commemorative attire offered at your local department store, but some ambitious marketing intern has somehow convinced the powers-that-be that THIS is what America was missing.  A day to celebrate iced tea.

So be it.

So the next question becomes – how do you take yours?  This can cause more family friction than discussing religion or politics at a weekend cook-out, so tread carefully. 

There are those that take their tea freshly brewed with no additives.  Slap it in a glass of ice and call it an afternoon. Maybe with a big slice of lemon.  These are the purists.  The “unsweet” crowd.  Probably from a state above the Mason-Dixon line.  They have well-manicured lawns, wear crocs with socks, and watch tennis on television.

There are those that like “flavored” teas.  Exotic mixtures like “Strawberry-Mango”, “Watermelon Blast”, or something that the taste can’t really be described, such as “Morning Mist” or “Paris Moonlight”.  Look for well-worn Birkenstocks, a hybrid mountain bike mounted on the back of an electric car, or just take a whiff of the air around you, as these folks tend to view deodorant as a corporate scam blatantly peddled by the personal hygiene industry.

Then there are those that like “sweet tea”.  These folks generally still consider Richmond as their capitol city, can recommend a good fishing lure, and find that footwear (in general) just gets in the way.  They like both kinds of music – country and western.  They track down a good barbecue joint by sniffing the air and taking their chances.

Now when I say “sweet tea”, the descriptive adjective “sweet” flows along a horizontal plane that is not for the faint-hearted.  I’ve tasted sweet tea that is pleasant.  I’ve also tasted sweet tea that can hold a spoon vertically without touching the sides of the glass.  Tea so sweet that I wince when taking a sip because it makes my teeth hurt.  I’ve seen children drink a glass of this elixir and run in circles for hours with their eyes rolled back into their skulls while speaking in tongues.  That restaurant with the golden arches has sweet tea so potent and in such a large serving cup that it should come with a shot of insulin on the side (and I have witnessed folks add more sugar to it to get it “just right”).  Oy vey.

These various camps have their fervent faithful, and much like the topics I previously mentioned, the tension can be palpable when mixing these tea-preference crowds together.  Having a summer soiree and want to offer a seasonal beverage?  I’d choke down a pitcher of poorly squeezed lemonade made by imprisoned chimps before breaching the iced tea wars, but hey – you do you.

So this Thursday, raise a glass of iced tea – flavored to your palate, of course – and drink to the summer season.

Salud!