Well, we barely made it past Valentine’s Day (whose candies and trinkets appeared on shelves around December 26^th) and if you’ve been out and about at any store, you’ll know that Easter must be right around the corner (FYI – this year Easter happens to coincide with April Fool’s Day [4/1/18], so don’t mix-and-match your holidays).

Shelves at local grocery stores and retail locations are loaded with chocolate bunnies, chicks, colorful eggs, and bags full of various shades of plastic “grass” to stuff that basket with.  From themed candies to socks, I’d thought I’d seen just about everything when it came to marketing the Easter holiday.

Then, the Oriental Trading Company catalog arrived.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar, the Oriental Trading Company specializes in party supplies and tchotchkes that can be given out as prizes at schools, clubs, or even religious organizations.  Think little buttons with Noah’s ark rainbows, pencils that say “God loves you”, and the like.  Most of their merchandise is cute, cheap, and plentiful (as an example, you can get 100 pencils for $14.99).

That being said, there are some items in the catalog that are just downright weird.  I’m talking totally head-scratching.  Now I understand that church attendance nationwide is on the decline – and that religious organizations are always on the lookout for ideas to get young people into the pews and attending Sunday school, but some of these gift ideas border on the bizarre.

I can sense your questions.

“Can you give me some examples?”

Of course I can.

In case you’re wondering if I’m making all of this up – let me assure you that I am not.  All of the items below are ACTUAL products from the Oriental Trading Company’s spring catalog (check their website here if you don’t believe me).

 

The 10” plush Jesus stuffed toy*

Yes, nothing tells a young child “I love you” like a hug from our Lord and Savior himself.  He’s so squeezable!  Dressed in a white robe, red sash, and complete with sandals, your child can recreate all of his or her favorite New Testament stories (although I’d steer clear of the whole “walk on water” thing).  I’ll bet he smells like cinnamon.

 

“He Lives” Puffy Finger puppets

It says the set includes “Jesus and his followers”, but there are only ten pieces, so someone got shortchanged here.  Obviously, Judas is out – but who else got slighted?  Probably Bartholomew.  I also see that they have a Roman soldier and an angel.  That’s quite a line-up.  If you see a kid with these on his fingers riding the school bus, I can almost guarantee you there’s an open seat next to him/her.

 

Easter Paddleball Games

Nothing brings back those repressed Catholic memories quite like a paddle with the words “He is Risen” emblazoned on the side.  If the nuns at the St. Aquinus Preparatory school had these back in the day there would be an entire spectrum of the population who would never take up badminton, squash, or tennis.  Also, can anyone actually hit one of these balls off of the paddle more than twice in a row (other than actor/comedian Harvey Korman in the movie ‘Blazing Saddles’)???  Honestly, it’s games like this that makes one want to break the third commandment instead of abide by it.

 

“Tomb and Rock” Mini-Buttons

These buttons show a large rock tomb with a small, round boulder connected to the pin by magnet, allowing kids to “roll away” the stone to illustrate the Resurrection.  I have nothing to say about this one but “wow.”

 

They must get some push-back from some of these items.  I can recall a few years ago the company also offered a “pop-up” Easter set.  You know, the toys where you would push the figure down onto a suction cup base, wait a few minutes, and the toy then springs up into the air?  Well, their signature version had two lambs, a cross, and – you guessed it – Jesus himself.  We actually bought a set because we couldn’t believe it – and yes, Jesus seemed to pop up higher than either the lambs or the cross (thank goodness).  Now, I don’t know if that was by design or if it was providence, but boy it sure was funny.

Tempting as these toys are, I think that this year, I’ll stick to keeping my eggs and bunnies in one secular pile while leaving my Holy Week trappings safe within the confines of a steepled building, thank you.

 

 

* all images credited to orientaltrading.com