So we’re now finished with Week 2 of college football, and I have watched more games in the past two weeks than I have in the past twenty years.

Why, you may ask?

Well, my youngest is going to a premiere SEC school in the south (all I’ll say is that Forrest Gump also went there), and since she is going to or watching games every week now, I feel almost like I HAVE to watch them – just to keep up.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not hard to watch the #1 team in the country (at least this week), but she’ll text me the score, ask if I’m following along, and as a Dad, I don’t want to disappoint.  Besides, with no one around the house but the wife and I, the weekend is pretty quiet, so it’s not hard to find the time.  As a matter of fact, these days I can probably actually quote who is in the NCAA College Football Top Ten, but at my age, I’m sure this has supplanted some other, really important fact in my middle-aged mind, like my bank account number or my wife’s birthday.

Due to the glorious power of the internet, I can usually find the game streaming live somewhere on my computer or Smart TV, so watching is generally not a problem.  Also, since the out-of-state tuition for my youngest is so expensive, it’s almost like I’m following an investment.  It’s good to see where my money goes – and I assure you, it’s not all going to the hallowed halls of education.  The head coach at this football dynasty makes a cool $8.7 million this year – at 70 years old (yes, you read that right), so they damn well better play well.  I’d like to think I’m paying for at least one jersey down on that field, even if it is for the back-up kicker.

“But, Jim”, you may ask, “don’t you have two kids in college?”

Why yes – yes, I do.

“Doesn’t your oldest daughter’s college have a football team as well?”

Why yes – yes, it does, but saying that her university has a football team (which is also a Division 1 NCAA team) is like saying Paris, Texas has a boulangerie (a French bakery).  That may be true, but no one really cares or is going out of their way to buy a baguette at ‘Great Buns of Fire!’ on their next visit.  I have actually been to a football game at my eldest’s university, and the most exciting part of it was watching everyone getting absolutely hammered in the beer garden strategically placed behind a flimsy picket fence right behind one of the end zones.  The mounting tension that 300 drunken fans would eventually storm the field at the slightest provocation was more exciting and palpable than anything going on between the twenty-two players on the field.

And besides, it’s hard to make room for any other teams besides my beloved Maryland Terrapins, who are also 2-0, thank you very much.

Fear the Turtle!