As I am out and about in my dining and travel adventures, I’m constantly amazed at the deterioration of one of the simplest and easiest forms of respect and kindness that can be shown towards another human being.

Basic manners.

Welcome to the “rude era”.  In today’s world of excessive social media and instant, faceless communication, people are not shy about giving their unfiltered opinion.  A careless word or hateful phrase can enrage and inflame emotions.  We are no longer a polite society.  It’s an “all about me” mentality.  We gather in our respective corners, wait for our self-absorbed senses to be personally wronged, and when someone rings the bell, we come out swinging.  It manifests itself in our actions towards one another every single day.  There seems to be one mantra – “It’s MY world, and all of you are just living in it.  I don’t see anyone else, acknowledge anyone else, or care about anyone else.”

It’s as if people don’t WANT to be nice to one another anymore.  Being polite seems to be out of fashion.  I’m not saying we have to bang on a drum, hug each other, and sing “Kumbaya” in a sweaty prayer circle, but would it kill us to start saying “please” and “thank you” again on a regular basis?

People complain about today’s youth.  “So disrespectful,” they’ll say.  Well guess what?  Kids learn by example.  Fred Astaire once said “the hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any” – and that was back in the 1980s, when your “Members Only” jacket was still cool and the worst example of a person on TV was J.R Ewing.  Let that sink in for a little bit.  We’ve come a long way, baby.

If you want to receive respect and compassion, then you have to start giving it.  Get off of the “me” carousel, stop texting on that cell phone for five minutes and make eye contact with someone who’s speaking to you (adults and kids included).  Heaven help me, if my grandmother was still around, you wanna know what would happen if I would have ever dismissed her like that when she was talking to me?  I’ll tell you – she would have whacked me across the snoot in front of God and everybody, tossed that $600 phone out into the yard, and made it a “teaching moment”.  Grandma may have been harsh, but maybe she had the right idea.  I think we could all stand to swallow an extra dose of “do unto others” – even if the consequences aren’t as severe as getting our collective melons smacked by an elder as a reminder.

Instead of mumbling an emotionless “give me a grand latte” in response to the “may I help you?” from the barista, how about taking a second to slow down, smile, and say “yes, may I have a grand latte, please?”   You’ll be surprised at how much smoother the transaction goes.  Hold that door open for someone trying to enter or exit a building.  It only takes an extra second.  Touch your brakes and let that harried mom and her screaming kids get out of the rain and into the shopping mall, waving them across the lot in front of your vehicle.

When you hear “thank you”, act like a human being and reciprocate with “you’re welcome” – don’t just nod your head or grunt.  How hard is it to acknowledge and reinforce a gracious response?

Stop into any ‘Chick-fil-A’ fast-food restaurant in the country and listen as the cashiers answer with “my pleasure” to every “thank you” they hear.  Sure, it’s quaint, but what’s wrong with that?  It’s one of the reasons I enjoy eating there (besides the fact that they make a darn good chicken sandwich).  Their entire staff is courteous – from the lady who offers to refill your drink or throw away your trash in the lobby to the kid taking your order on paper at the drive-thru when it’s busy (just to keep the lines moving).  Well-mannered and civil behavior is ingrained into their corporate culture – and so shocking in today’s world that they come off as the exception rather than the rule.

Hollywood film legend Lillian Gish was quoted as saying “you can get through life with bad manners, but it’s much easier with good ones.”

That’s excellent advice.

And it sure beats getting the stink eye from Grandma.