Yes, today I’m going to get up on my soap box and shake my fist at the world of cellphones.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Cellphones are powerful tools.  If you could go back in time to just the early 2000’s and show the average person a cellphone from today, they wouldn’t believe the capabilities in today’s hardware and software, all conveniently packaged to fit in your pocket.  “Whoa, easy there, future boy!”  The world is truly at one’s fingertips.

That being said, I’m personally not a big fan of all the immersion that a cellphone inflicts on the average person.  They are completely hooked on their devices, like some sort of deranged addict.  Their faces and heads are constantly looking down towards their laps when seated or towards the street when walking, literally lost in their own world of technology.  Don’t believe me?  Just this past week, I turned my car into the alley to get to the parking garage near my workplace and a pedestrian coming up the street almost walked right into my bumper from thirty yards away.  Why?  Because their head was down, and they were totally engrossed in their phone (with the obligatory earbuds in place).

The next time you’re out at a restaurant, take a look at the tables around you.  Folks don’t talk to each other while they are out anymore.  Their heads are lowered and they are busy texting away or looking at social media posts.  That must make dating pretty easy.  Obviously, one doesn’t have to speak.  Even when I go to dinner at my mother’s house, I talk to her while she is flitting around the kitchen, while the rest of my family is busy tapping away on their devices in the other room, tuned out of the world around them.

Ever been to an outdoor event or concert these days?  Very few folks watch what is happening in front of them in real time.  They have their phones raised or parked in front of their faces, desperate to take the perfect video to post later on to their social media accounts, and not just one person.  I’m talking hundreds or even thousands (at a large event). It’s a sea of upraised screens, which is now blocking my view of the stage.

The expectation and assumption of phone use in places of business has also reached levels of ridiculousness.  Try asking for a paper menu in a restaurant or bar that only has a QR code for one to scan to check out the bill of fare.  The server or bartender will just shrug their shoulder and look at you like you’ve just asked them to solve a differential equation.  What if I forgot my phone?  Does that mean I can’t eat or drink here? I don’t want to be “that guy”, but guess what?  Now, you can start rattling off the menu to me.  I’m all ears.  

People have also lost all sense of decorum or manners when using their devices as well.  They have their personal phone conversations, very loudly and publicly, on speaker for everyone within a ten-yard radius to hear.  They light up their phones to talk to or text their friends in movie theaters (during the show), and fight over charging outlets at the airport or mall.  One can’t even take a hike into nature without some shmo pulling out their phone and face-timing an acquaintance, completely ruining the experience for everyone else.

Must we take a picture of ourselves in every single situation and/or of every plate of food we eat? Honestly, we’ve raised a generation of narcissists. My youngest sometimes takes three or four pictures of herself sitting on the couch in the evening, just to post “on the ‘gram” (Instagram, for you unwashed). Instead of old boxes of photos of long-lost relatives, we’ve saved terabytes worth of photos of bowls of soup and cups of coffee. Future archaeologists will think we created some sort of weird religion.

Ever seen the reaction of a person who has lost or misplaced their phone?  Maybe there is no cell service at their current location, or their battery has run low?  These people literally lose their minds and go into a panic attack.  They emotionally implode over a piece of hardware. The phone has defined their personality and social status, which I find a little sad.

While I certainly appreciate all of the wild and wonderful things a cell phone can do, I personally don’t use mine for much else than the occasional text or an actual phone call.  I’m perfectly fine with sitting the unit down in my office and walking away from it for hours at a time instead of mindlessly scrolling through dozens of Tik-Tok videos.  Apparently, I’m an outlier. 

Hell, my own kids get mad when I don’t text them back right away, and I mean within thirty seconds. They will then proceed with blowing up my phone with multiple calls until I answer, and then it will be for some earth-shattering or important question such as “how tall are you?”  I fondly remember a time when I’d walk out the door in the morning and my parents didn’t know where I was all day.  They’d say things like “be home before dark” or “dinner is at 6”, and that’s the last communication we’d have for hours.  It’s why we put pictures of missing kids on milk cartons back in the day. 

While cellphones have brought a wealth of convenience, communication, and information to our everyday lives, I can’t help but think that we’ve lost track of being present and living in the moment, taking full advantage of the joys and satisfaction of actually being with friends and family, or creating memories of our travels through our shared experiences.  Today’s Facebook posts and Tik-Tok videos are the home slide shows of the 1970’s. I didn’t ask to look at yours, but here we are. Can’t I just gaze at the Eiffel Tower for a while and enjoy it for what it is?  I can describe it to you later.

Relaying one’s adventures orally with friends is called “storytelling”, and believe it or not, it doesn’t require a phone at all.

Those were the days.