Officially, fall is almost upon us.  Unofficially, your local fast-food outlet has already gone into full “pumpkin crazy” mode, flooding the market with cinnamon, nutmeg, and other fall spices which now make up the bulk of their autumnal offerings.

That being said, most of these drinks, while they may be delicious (I wouldn’t know because I don’t drink this expensive garbage) – are certainly not good for one’s overall health.  The sheer amount of calories and sugar in many of these drinks is just mind-blowing.  I know we don’t often register what it means when sugar content is measured in grams, but when one takes the time to convert that to teaspoons, most of us can relate – and it’s an eye opener.

Want a few examples?  Well, heck yes, you say.  Fine, I’ll look all of these stats up for you, you lazy bum.  I’ll go from best (a relative statement) to worst below.

“Starbucks” Pumpkin Spiced Latte

Calories – 390

Sugar – 50 grams (12 teaspoons)

“Wendy’s” Pumpkin Spiced Frosty

Calories – 420

Sugar – 64 grams (15.4 teaspoons)

“Dunkin’” Pumpkin Swirl Iced Coffee

Calories – 930

Sugar – 185 grams (44.4 teaspoons)

“DQ” Pumpkin Spice Blizzard

Calories – 940

Sugar – 112 grams (26.8 teaspoons)

“Red Robin” ‘Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice’ Milkshake

Calories – 1060

Sugar – 128 grams (30.7 teaspoons)

Wow.

For those of you keeping score, twelve teaspoons is equivalent to ¼ cup.  Can you imagine spooning a dozen or more teaspoons of sugar into your morning coffee? Yikes! I can hear the late actor Wilford Brimley screaming “diabeeetus!” in the background as I watch people scarfing these things down.  Of course, most of them are sitting down because it hurts to stand for very long. 

The recommended daily calorie intake for adults is somewhere between 2000-2500 (depending on your age and gender).  Looks like it’s gonna be a long, weight-gaining day if you’re in the drive-thru line at “Dunkin’” this fall.

Look, I’m not saying that having one of these as a treat every now and then is a bad thing.  Life is short.  Indulge yourself.  However, you and I both know folks who practically live on this stuff, gulping these things down every day – and it shows.  These are the same folks who have to turn sideways to slowly shuffle down the aisle of that plane you’re on, or who are politely asking you to get that big box of vanilla wafers off of the top shelf at the grocery store (because they can’t reach them from the scooter chair).  The ones you can hear breathing heavy – at the movie theater.  You know who I’m talking about.

For me, I’ll just enjoy my black coffee or tea every day, thank you very much – and save the flavors of fall for a slice of real pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.