Halloween is barely a month away.  A night where children get the chance to dress up as their favorite cartoon character or superhero and go door-to-door to experience a full-on sugar rush of candy and fully road test both their manners and their ability to interact with strangers.  Hooray!

It also seems like these days, it’s also an excuse for adults to relive their childhood memories and dress up themselves, attending Halloween-themed parties and events all throughout the fall season.  Now don’t get me wrong – I have no issues or problems with forty year-olds who want to put on a costume and have a little fun, but some of these costume choices are just – well – odd.

Take a look at some of these questionable choices I found while browsing the web recently.

 

Anything with the Adjective “Sexy” In Front of It

At what point did virtually all women’s Halloween costumes become different takes on strippers and hookers?  Did I miss a memo?  Honestly, I think costume makers are running out of things to call “sexy”.  There are sexy princesses, sexy witches, and I’ve even seen a “sexy Dorothy” from the ‘Wizard of Oz’.  Come on ladies, I think we’re running out of excuses to push up your cleavage and hike up your skirts.  Sexy French fries?  Sexy “Bert” from ‘Sesame Street’?  Sexy “Winnie the Pooh”?   If you want to parade around half-naked and have people look at you, I have no objections, but do it in the summer by the pool.  Those costumes are called “bikinis”.

 

Men’s Costumes That Joke About Their – Well – Equipment

The “banana hammock”.  A genie lamp where the spout of the lamp juts out with the caption “rub me and make a wish” on the side.  “Down for the Count” (you’ll have to look that one up yourself – its NSFW, but I’ll tell you that it does have something to do with Dracula).  Just what we need in today’s culture of “no means no” and the “#MeToo” movement – a drunk dude running around the party, rubbing his unit all over everyone.  Better think that one through a little, Jerry.  You may be nominated for a Supreme Court Justice someday.

 

Bad Puns

The “Killer B” (a bloody striped letter “B” wielding a knife) .  “50 Shades of Gray” (a shirt with 50 different paint samples on it).  The “Holy Cow” (a cow with a halo).  If you have to explain it to me, it’s not a costume – it’s some sort of statement (usually its “I just thought of this five minutes before the party started”), and truthfully I’m just here for the food and some candy corn, Lisa.  Everyone’s a little tired of hearing you say “guess what I am?” all night.

 

Baby Hitler

I really have no words for this one, other than to say “wow”, that’s a bold choice for a toddler.  These are some parents who are sending a message, and I’m not sure I want to read the rest of the pamphlet.  What was the back-up plan – a Grand Dragon from the KKK?

 

Here’s hoping you see some original, creative, and fun costumes this Halloween season.